Well, I don't have any pictures from the last week-week and a half..mainly due to the fact that I have been pretty down. I left my job last Thursday for good. Took all of my classroom in the back of the car and drove home. It was SUCH a sad moment. I think the hardest moment of that day was saying good bye to my kiddos. This was the best group of kids I have ever had, the most thoughtful, caring, loving kids around! As I said good bye to them I was BAWLING, and went back to my classroom and fell on the floor by my desk sobbing. It was SO HARD! I mean, how can you be six years into your career ( and loving it by the way) and then all of a sudden have that taken away by people who are just as sad to take it away? Does that make sense? Thinking about the 8 of us who lost our jobs at my school site alone and all of their stories...how their lives are going to change...but most of all, what great individuals and teachers they all are. It has been the most depressing couple of months to be honest and I haven't dealt with it all that well.
And now, I am home with Lucy, for who knows how long. I should be happy ( which I am! ) yet at the same time I am confused, I don't know what the next thing in store is for us, and it scares me so much because I have another human being that is basically helpless that is dependent on me...and at this point I am struggling to see something positive for us in the future. Everything changes when you have a child, your whole world is now about making sure that little one is happy and is safe. It breaks my heart to think of what might happen to us...and all I really want ( and Troy wants) is for Lucy to be exactly that, happy, healthy and safe. I will do anything I can to make that happen. Work three jobs if need be. At this point I have been off of work for a week tomorrow and I have had two interviews already. Both, were not too encouraging. They both are for positions that I would love to have, but at both interviews they reminded me that this is only the first step in the interview and there were hundreds of applicants, and that this will be a very lengthy process. All of that is fine, I just need to be able to support my family!
Sorry, these are just some of my thoughts lately. And the weather, to top it off, has been so horrible! Lucy and I need to get outside and enjoy the days...and we tried to do that today, got all ready, got in the stroller, opened the front door and IT WAS RAINING! Yick!
I guess I am hoping and praying for better days in sight!